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Sunday, June 14, 2009

In memoriam

It has been a pretty long and somewhat sad week for me and my family. My younger brother, Marty, passed on June 6, 2009 and the last week, the last several days in particular, have been filled with a lot of sorrow and the usual mix of the seven steps of grieving. I was not close to my brother (I'm really not close to most of my family) and of course I could never be as close to him as his wife and children are. I learned a lot about him in the last several days and I think, that as sad as his passing was, it was wonderful that all of his siblings, his large extended family and numerous friends were all able to get together to salute his life, share an incredible collection of humorous and heartwarming stories about Marty and bid adieu. My lack of closeness to Marty and to many members of my family has nothing to do with them--it is all to do with me. It certainly does not mean that I don't love and cherish every one of them, even those with whom I cannot spend much time. I am so happy for those of my siblings and their children have had successful careers and raised their children to be the outstanding people that they are. I also feel the sadness of those who have not reached their life's goals. Life is a process of growth and renewal, sometimes filled with joy and at other times so very painful. I do not, as many of you know, believe in any sort of saving god or in a life after this one. That is not to say that I KNOW this to be true, it's just what I believe. For those who believe and take comfort in their belief, I hope that they find solace in their faith in such times as these. I believe that we are, literally, stardust, and that we all live and die and live again in a multiplicity of combinations in the nearly infinite universe. I'm not sure where Marty has gone. If I am, in fact, completely wrong, and there is a heaven of some sort or a process of genuine reincarnation--well, hell, I'm screwed! I think, however that, if such is the case, Marty is with my 'rents and our dear sister, Anne Marie, doing his endearing, infuritating best to be a good brother, dutiful son, doting parent and the President of Huskers in the Hereafter. I'll miss you, little brother, and I'll hold you in my heart, you rascal.

19 comments:

Capt. Bat Guano said...

Democom, sorry for your loss. Tom.

Dave von Ebers said...

Condolences, Brother Demo. Been there before; likely will be there again … soon. Totally sucks, I know.

Be well.

Anne Johnson said...

If your family members and siblings are decent folk, it's never too late to get to know them better. Anyway, my condolences to you, and I hope you hold warm memories in your heart.

mutzali said...

I'm sorry, demo. It will get better.

Bradley Jardis said...

I am very sorry for your loss Uncle T.

Sharon said...

Very sorry for your loss, dc.

knowdoubt said...

Been missing you, glad to see you back and coping. I still have trouble sleeping after one particularly painful loss somethings you just don't get over, just learn to live with. I agree with your POV and the stardust thing as for the other I'll take my chances. Tom too.

hedera said...

Sorry for your loss, democommie, but you're right - getting to say goodbye was really important. The people are really important; reach out to them while we can; they're all we've got. As for the afterlife, remember that Mark Twain claimed that it's Heaven for climate, and Hell for society!

democommie said...

I just got back to my ramshackle hovel, sweet hovel, at 2:00 AM after a long drive (1130 miles in 19 hours) and am too beat to say much more than, "Thank you" to all of you.

Richard said...

Of course Marty is President of the Husker Society. And of course you are going to see him again. I mean, if there's no Democommie in heaven, who the hell wants to go? Who's going to make us laugh? Who's going to enlighten us? Know what I'm sayin'?

democommie said...

Well, Richard; of course if there IS a heaven then democommie WILL be there.

Dave von Ebers said...

Welcome back, Demo. It was good to talk to you the other day. Too bad we couldn’t grab a burger and a beer … maybe next time.

Jim Voorhies said...

Sorry for your loss, Demo.

democommie said...

jim:

Thank you.

Anonymous David said...

Something went amiss when I first tried to offer my condolences last week, democommie, so belated heartfelt condolences.

Anonymous David

democommie said...

Anonymous David:

Thank you. And thanks to all, for your words of kindness.

When's the next bus to Oswego? said...

A very moving post. Glad you got a lot of the gathering. - Ranjit

democommie said...

Ranjit:

I got a bottle of that SA Cabernet I was telling you about it. Let me know when you're up for trying it.

No Blood for Hubris said...

Sorry for your loss, d.