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Saturday, November 07, 2009

Poor, poor, pitiful preachers.

Mr. Jon Swift had a post on his blog (http://jonswift.blogspot.com/2006/06/warren-buffett-turns-against-god.html)--go visit and leave some love. I wrote a comment and realized, after it posted, that the post was done in June and that the most recent comment on the thread was a week old. Hey I ain't wastin' this (it's been edited to be more profane)! Dear Mr. Swift, Sir: This is my first visit to your fine KKKristian KKKonservative blogplace (that would be YOUR fault for having a link to this place at "Jesus' General"). I think some of your commenters are nervous nellies. They think GOD will get umbragificacious with Warren B.? Nothing could be further(farther? whatever) from the truth. Warren is doing GOD'S work. Every dollar that he shifts to Billzebub Gates for doing satan's work is one dollar more that has to be offset by the righteous fundraising apparatus of Mr. Reverend Robertson, et al. GOD'S just havin' hisself a little fun with his peeps' is all. Why look at how he got Oral Roberts to go all jiggy, back when he said, "Oral, son, GOD gots to have some benjamins; 'less of course you wanna get benched." The man worked miracles--IN JESUS' NAME!! Yeah, OL' YHWH is just sittin' out on the glider on his paradaisacal porch, sippin' some fine sacremental Pinot Noir, and havin' a time with Moses, Leviticus, Abraham and the rest of the GOP (GOD'S Own Posse) while David (another oneathem "1 Name" artists) plucks a mean harp--is that "Stairway to Heaven" I'm hearing or just the music of the spheres? Oh, btw, that bit of scripture? It really said. "I'd rather stick needles in my eyes (something JESUS would do from time as a party prank, like changing water in to wine or healing lepers, etc.,.) than be caught smokin' a "Camel Frost". Dudes, it's like kissin' Mary Mags. Gimme oneathem straight, high tar Luckies or, better yet, a Fatima." Those Essenes, what a bunch of kidders

19 comments:

Anne Johnson said...

Sorry I missed your birthday, Demo! You're a bit ahead of me, but not much. As for your Polrant today, Buffett may be rich, but he ain't the pope -- YWHW wins again!

democommie said...

Anne Johnson:

I woulda thought you could see the lights from the candles!

Buffet may not be the pope, but I 'spect that bothers him even less than it does me?

Have the Thunderbirds left for their winter digs!

the Rev Jerry Gloryhole said...

God Hates Figs, Demo.

All set for another Canadian winter?

democommie said...

The Rev. Jerry Gloryhole:

I will be in a day or six. I got me a pellet stove and all the necessary accoutrements. Those friggin' pellets are expensive though, it's about $5 for a 12 oz. box. I think it would be cheaper to just burn the goddamned hamsters!

No Blood for Hubris said...

!!

Dave von Ebers said...

Rev. JG, ever read David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest? ’Cuz if I’m not mistaken, where Demo lives’d be part of Canada in after what Wallace calls the “Reconfiguration” … which (the Reconfiguration) resulted in what he calls the Organization of North American Nations, or (ahem) ONAN.

Hmmm.

Dave von Ebers said...

I think there’s an extraneous “in” in that last comment. Not quite sure what kind of grammatical gymnastics I was trying to achieve there; but “in after what …” makes no sense, as far as I can tell. Damn it all.

(Word verification: clingles!)

the Rev Jerry Gloryhole said...

aptatiz!

Yes, DvonE, every word and footnote too. Nice catch.
I think maybe the extry word is 'after', though the gymnastics wear me out.

Just decided y'day to re-insulate the attic, tossing the old rock wool and whatnot, and fluff it up with new heavyduty stuff. Guess I'll have to send the donation plates around twice next Sunday.
Funny thing; last time I did s'thing like it, it was cheaper to hire guys to supply and insulate than it was to buy the stuff and do it myself.
No-brainer, that.

Dave von Ebers said...

Rev. JG: I’m up to about page 836 and footnote 343 or something … it’s not really the best book to read at, like, 20-minute stretches on the el heading downtown every so often, but what’re ya gonna do, y’ know?

the Rev Jerry Gloryhole said...

Dave-
I guess you do what you must. When I finished it I jumped in and immediately read it again.
All 3000 ppg.
A bit like donning a mental illness suit. Fun!

manxbkko!

Dave von Ebers said...

Funny you say that, Rev. I decided the other day that I'd have to start over at the beginning once I finish the thing. It's like painting the Golden Gate Bridge ...

"tonts"!

democommie said...

What book are you two gentlemen discussing?

I'll have you know that I shot my own turkey this year. I used a 20 GA slug instead of birdshot. It did no real damage to the bird but it totally fucked up the freezer at the Price Chopper!

Dave von Ebers said...

Demo:

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace. It’s not so much of a book as a life commitment. I don’t think I’ll ever read anything ever again. Mostly because I’ll have to spend the rest of my life reading it to really get it, I think. Apparently, it’s about tennis and Quebecer terrorists. And the future, when time is sponsored by major corporations. Also.

democommie said...

Dave von Ebers:

Thanks, I'll put it on my "must think about reading, someday" list.

Dave von Ebers said...

Demo, as an enticement (or perhaps a deterrent?) most of the action takes place in the month of November, in what’s known in the book as the Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment (time being, as I said, subsidized by major corporations). Now that’s some damn writing, ask me.

Bukko_in_Australia said...

Demo -- you hadn't been reading John Swift before NOW? Then you're too late, mate! He was as conservative as Teh Gen'l, only in a more erudite (and therefore, less manly) way. I enjoyed his egg-headed, arch conservatism for years. Unfortunately, Swifty seems to have hung up his spurs roundabout March. Perhaps Obama's minions got to him...

democommie said...

Bukko in Australia:

Yes, I'm afraid that is so. My loss.

Elizabeth said...

DC, LMAO! You get really creative when you are pissed off. Nice job.

democommie said...

Elizabeth:

Why, thank you! I do my humble best. It's about time for my annual Xmas letter. It's always a compendium of useless information, outrageous lies and awkward, sophomoric humor. I truly love doing it.